Every person has their own parenting style. Some parents believe in hands-off parenting letting their children learn from their own mistakes and have freedom. Others believe in helicopter parenting and are overbearing about everything their child is up to. For parents looking to have their child succeed in all aspects of their life, they will likely use tiger parenting.
What Is Tiger Parenting?
The term tiger parenting refers to parents who use authoritarian parenting methods to make sure their child achieves with academics and other activities they participate in. This parenting style is most common among Asian American, Chinese American, and Chinese parents. Parents will be strict when it comes to their children, but will use supportive parenting methods as well. The term was first coined by Yale Law professor Amy Chua.
However, for positive and easygoing parents, tiger parenting may seem a little extreme. Some parents take tiger parenting too far by forcing their child to focus only on their academics and remove any other distractions from their life. This includes children not being able to watch TV, hang out with friends, play games, and more.
6 Signs You Are A Tiger Parent
Your Child Isn’t Allowed To Be Distracted
Distractions are something your child can’t afford. You believe they should focus on their academics and other activities that will benefit them in the future and get them into a great college. These distractions may include going out with friends, TV, video games, sports, social media, and more.
Your Child Must Follow All The Rules
Tiger parents have a set of strict rules they expect their child to follow and not break. If their child dares to break a rule, they will take privileges, distractions, and possibly use threats to make their child fall in line.
Your Child Must Be Perfect
You expect your child to be picture perfect in all aspects of their life: academics, appearance, and reputation. You want your child referred to as the model student that will grow up to be someone successful.
Use Negative Language To Keep Your Child In-Line
Tiger moms and parents are known to use negative language to keep their children in-line and stick to following their rules and schedule. This includes not being able to do something if a certain task is not done or a rule is broken. Some parents will go as far as physically punishing their child for not meeting their expectations.
What You Say Goes
What you want and your opinions are all that matters. You believe you have your child’s best interest at heart and with that, you make all of the decisions for your child. Even if your child voices their opinions and thoughts, you dismiss them for what you say always goes.
You Limit Your Emotions
You limit showing your maternal instincts and emotions so that your child is not coddled and learns to rely on themselves to get things accomplished. You believe displaying the typical emotions mothers have would deter your child from their academics and other activities, which of course isn’t good for supporting your child’s success.
Why Do People Parent This Way?
It’s Part Of The Asian and Chinese Heritage
It’s part of the Asian and Chinese culture to raise your children using tiger parenting. In China and Asian countries, raising children who excel at academics is priority. This thought process is often passed down through generations, and following such traditions is showing respect to your elders.
They Were Brought Up This Way
Many of those with Asian, Chinese, and Chinese American origins grew up with tiger parents. And when it came time for them to become parents themselves, they parented using methods that they were accustomed to growing up with.
They Want Their Child To Succeed
All parents want their child to succeed, including tiger parents. This type of parent just believes their child’s success can be achieved through different methods than supportive and positive parenting.
They Want Their Child To Have What They Couldn’t
Not all parents had the perfect childhood and upbringing. It could be that they had parents who ignored them or didn’t have the resources to succeed. Some tiger parents just want their children to succeed and have the childhood and life that they couldn’t. Often, this ideal life can be achieved through excelling in school and other activities.
The Effects of Tiger Parenting
Depression and Anxiety
As stated previously, tiger parents are known to use negative, harsh, and extreme tactics to force their children to follow the rules, do what they want, and achieve success. However, this could lead to the child becoming depressed and having anxiety.
Lack of Independence
Tiger parents control every aspect of their child’s life to ensure they succeed. With this, the child does not learn how to be independent, make their own decisions, and form their own opinions. It’s necessary for a child to learn to be independent in order to be successful in the real world, and tiger parenting prevents this.
May Not Lead To Academic Success
Even though one of the main goals of tiger parenting is to have children be academically successful, it can actually have the opposite effect. If parents are being too harsh with their children and not showing them compassion, the children may rebel against their parents. On the other end of the spectrum, tiger parenting may encourage children to do well in primary school, but once the children are on their own at college, they may not succeed as they have had their parents guiding them their whole lives.
If you are using tiger parenting tactics, it may be a good idea to evaluate your parenting style. Using some tiger parenting tactics, in combination with a supportive parenting style can actually be beneficial.
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