Is My Girlfriend Cheating On Me? Here’s How To Tell

is my girlfriend cheating on me

Love is blind” – this is specifically the case when we choose to disregard our partners’ flaws or oversee clear signs of cheating. Humans have strong instincts that can detect when something is wrong or has changed. This is why the so-called gut feelings are often true. Unfortunately, it’s often too late when we decide to confront or address our intuitions. This is especially true when you suspect your girlfriend is cheating on you. 

Relationships: Healthy vs. Toxic 

About 20% of men and 15% of women, under 35 years old, say they have been unfaithful. Though there’s a difference in numbers, it appears that regardless of gender, anyone is capable of cheating.

People often get into a relationship hoping to have someone to spend the rest of their life with. Maintaining a happy, healthy, and committed relationship, however, is not a walk in the park. Moreover, love is never enough to keep a lasting relationship. It requires effort and consistency, trust and loyalty, patience and communication, respect and support, and more. 

Toxic relationships don’t happen overnight. In most cases, they merely start with simple red flags that have gone unattended or unaddressed. Unfortunately, the lack of communication and understanding could lead lovers to end up hating each other.


Reasons for Cheating

While the saying, “cheating is a choice”, may be true, it doesn’t just come out of nowhere. Often, several factors lead someone to cheat.

Sexual Desire

Cheating is often related to sex and physical intimacy. This is especially the case if someone’s partner isn’t meeting their physical needs. They tend to look somewhere else to satisfy their desires.


When at the peak of their emotions, anyone might consider revenge as a good idea. In some cases, when someone finds out their partner is cheating on them, their pain and anger could blind their values, wanting their partners to also experience the same emotional trauma they made them feel.

Commitment Issues

It’s possible that your partner isn’t currently at the same level of commitment as you. For instance, they might want a more casual relationship and your seriousness could trigger them to cheat. Commitment issues are caused by several factors, including traumatic family history or unpleasant past relationships.

Situational Factors

This may sound lame, but when an opportunity presents itself, it’s most likely challenging to turn it down regardless of how deep your feelings for your partner are. Most cheating is merely a spur of the moment thing which is why most cheaters feel guilty right after the incident.

Falling Out of Love

Don’t worry about something you might have done wrong as more often than not, people cheat simply because they have fallen out of love. While this may sound sad, the feelings could fade as fast as they happened.


Ways To Confirm Your Girlfriend’s Cheating On You

Confrontation is still the best option to confirm if your girlfriend’s cheating on you. However, it doesn’t always turn out as planned. Here are some alternative ways to catch them.

Signs and Clues

Pay closer attention to her behaviors. While not always true, subtle or abrupt changes in her routines, habits, or behaviors could mean she’s entertaining someone else. 

If your girlfriend suddenly starts dressing up differently or spending extra hours working, these could be reasonable signs. Other clues could also include being secretive, jumpy, easily-irritated, easily-annoyed, or distracted, especially if you know she usually doesn’t act this way. 

Social Media Accounts

It pays to check out her social media accounts from time to time. Randomly check her friend’s list, the pages she follows, and the usual posts she interacts with. Be mindful of a new social media friend who added her, or whom she added, despite not having any or many mutual friends.

You might also want to check the installed messaging apps they use. It could be difficult to access these apps, but the fact that she uses one or more, especially if it’s not your means of communication, is suspicious.

Friends and Colleagues

You might also want to get to know her friends and colleagues. You don’t necessarily need to befriend or get close to them, at least be aware of whom she’s spending time with other than you and her family.

A woman’s closest friends usually learn about an affair way before their partner does. So, the next time you hang out with them and they seem uncomfortable, it’s possible they know something about your girlfriend that you don’t.

A World Without You

One good sign of cheating is when your girlfriend starts talking about her plans where you seem to no longer be included. They may not directly say it, but their body language or the stories they suddenly share could imply they’re starting to move away from your world.

More subtle clues include not inviting you to events she attends, insisting you stay home, finding new interests, starting different hobbies, or not making time for you.

Phone Monitoring Software

For more accurate and real-time results, you could use a phone monitoring app. You would be able to remotely monitor her cell phone and simultaneously extract data directly to your online account.

If your girlfriend is cheating, her phone is the likely place to find evidence of infidelity. Using a monitoring app, you can view her texts and private messages, emails, call logs, browser history, social media activities, photos, videos, and more.


Bear in mind, however, that just because you notice any of the aforementioned signs doesn’t necessarily mean that your girlfriend is cheating on you. Be sure to validate your intuitions thoroughly and cautiously before confronting her, if possible. 

Then, when you’ve confirmed she’s cheating, allow yourself to digest the facts. Never act on impulse or make a decision while at the peak of your emotions. Try to initiate an open and positive conversation with your girlfriend first.

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Mallory Mercer
Hot yoga—and hot latte—enthusiast who enjoys getting out there and experiencing everything that life has to offer.

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