There’s a common misconception that once a partner cheats, the relationship is automatically over. But that’s not quite true. While most people catch a cheater and then choose to break up, there are still some who want to stay together. One of the hardest things in life is deciding if you can stay with someone who cheated on you. If you want to make it work, you need to learn how to forgive infidelity.
How To Forgive Infidelity And Move On:
While you can empathize with your partner’s feelings, you definitely shouldn’t condone their actions. You might understand why they did it, but it still doesn’t make it acceptable. What matters the most right now is how you feel. If your partner is pressuring you to forgive them or doesn’t understand the severity of what they did, then it’s not worth trying to save the relationship.
Let Yourself Heal
You can’t know how to forgive a cheating spouse if you haven’t given yourself time to heal. Accept that it happened and do your best to work through the pain and resentment. Acknowledge your feelings and remind yourself that they’re completely valid. This doesn’t mean that you have to completely forget about how your spouse wronged you, though. They should be making an equal effort to let you recover and make up for their actions. Your spouse needs to be completely committed to you going forward, as well as reassuring you that it will never happen again.
If you had to catch your spouse cheating, it might feel like an extra punch to the gut. They didn’t come forward and admit their affair – instead, you caught them in the act. You might have used a cell phone number search to find out that your partner was sending flirty texts to a coworker. Or even worse, maybe you walked in on them in your home. Cheating is the biggest breach of trust in a relationship. If you want to trust each other again, you’ll both have to build it from the ground up. Start small and hold your partner accountable to the little things, like washing the dishes when they say they will. When they follow through on their word, you can work your way up to bigger ones, such as finances and emotional support.
Take The High Road
Your partner had all the signs of a cheating spouse and did something that hurt you. However, you can take comfort in the fact that you didn’t do anything wrong. It was your partner who made the decision to cheat and put your relationship at risk. From there, take the high road and focus on repairing your marriage. You can take responsibility for any of your actions that may have hurt your significant other before they decided to cheat. But you didn’t drive them to cheat; that was something they chose to do.
Remember, the ball is ultimately in your court. If you feel that you don’t know how to forgive infidelity, or that it seems impossible, that’s okay. Maybe the relationship has run its course, and it’s time to figure out how to tell your spouse you want a divorce. Forgiving someone for cheating is a joint effort, so if your partner isn’t pulling their weight, it might be best to walk away.
Related Post: Top 5 Reasons Why Partners Cheat