Throughout life, you will inevitably lose friends, or wind up ending friendships. Usually, you move on and feel good about your decision afterward. When it comes to family, it’s a different situation entirely. Unlike your friends, your family has always been a part of your life, making it difficult to cut ties with them. A family member does deserve more leniency than a friend, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be toxic. If a family member is negatively impacting your life, you may need to cut toxic family ties. Here are five types of toxic behavior to look for.
1. They’re Judgemental
In a healthy family environment, there should be unconditional love without judgment. A relative who constantly judges you, or has an issue with everything you do, is not someone you need in your life. There is a difference between constructive criticism and just trying to bring someone down. Relentless and unnecessary judgment by a family member can cut deeper than from a friend. When someone belittles you non-stop, they are just trying to make themselves feel better. According to Psychology Today author Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., this is a sign of someone who has narcissistic tendencies. This is a person you want to stay away from, family member or not.
2. The Relationship Is One-Sided
Everyone knows this person, Mr. Calls-you-only-when-he-needs-you. All relationships require some form of give and take, but a familial relationship is built on that balance. If this person only reaches out to you when they need a favor; but offers nothing in return, then the relationship has no value. This exchange imbalance isn’t only a red flag when it comes to money, but also material goods. Emotional one-sidedness can be just as taxing on a relationship and lead to resentment. If you feel drained every time you encounter this person, chances are they are a toxic family member.
3. They Spread Rumors About You
Rumors are meant for high school, not towards other family members. A family member that is willing to tell lies about you, whether through text or a cell phone search, cares more about gossip and drama than you. Ditch them. This type of person does not want to see you succeed in life and do well. People spread rumors to stagnate other peoples growth and tear them down. Also, the majority of the time, these rumors are untruthful. Tarnishing the reputation of the person involved in the rumor, and making the person who’s spreading it look immature and petty.
4. They’re Jealous Of You
People that truly care about you are happy when things go well for you, they’re not jealous. That type of support is usually a given when it comes to family. If one family member is succeeding, everyone is succeeding. Somebody whose motto is “if I’m not happy nobody can be,” is never going to be supportive of you. Dismissing your hard work as luck, and cutting down your accomplishments are all signs of an unhappy person. Toxic people feel the need to take away others happiness. If a family member is that jealous of you, you need to cut those toxic family ties.
5. The Relationship Is A Lost Cause
Most of us want to make things right with our loved ones. Being estranged from a parent, sibling, or cousin is difficult. Sometimes it seems easier to just let things carry on status quo to keep the peace. Take an honest look at that relationship though, is it making you happy? You’re reading this article because you suspect you have toxic family ties. Ask yourself, is this relationship salvageable? Does it hurt to be near them? We don’t always like to admit when a bond is broken beyond repair.
Cutting Ties With Family Members
Your family should be your backbone, and the friends you keep for life. A person’s family should be there for them during the best times, as well as the worst times of their life. That being said, if they judge your every move or start rumors about you, is it worth having them around? They will always be related to you, but that doesn’t mean they have to be a part of your life. Sometimes it is better for everyone involved to just cut ties with toxic family members.
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